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I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.