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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
What idiot called it the "Happy Birthday" song instead of New Age music