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I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
"Someday, your phone will cost more than your computer" - said no one ever.
I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I`m bored.
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.