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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
I`m for driverless cars, but honestly, having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of sh!t 24/7
Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, poverty can’t buy you anything.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject