Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
I just awesomed all over the place.
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
Life is not fair. But life is not fair for everyone, which actually makes it fair.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
If nobody comes from the future to stop you, how bad can the decision really be?