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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
lifes a laugh, start living it!
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.
You know that button in the elevator with the fireman´s hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a fireman´s hat.
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.