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Vodka is just amazing water.
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
There are three kinds of people: Those who totally agree with my messages, those who kind of agree with me, and those locked in the trunk of my car.
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.