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I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
Some days the only thought that stops me from being Dexter...is that I am WAY too pretty to go to prison
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.