Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry. In my defense, I didn`t even know she sold jewelry.
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.
I`m glad I don`t work in an office. I can only imagine the smell at lunch time when everybody opens their egg salad sandwiches today.