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Happy people don`t take long showers.
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
Every time I see a pregnant woman, I very much want to ask if she swallowed a watermelon seed.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.