Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
Hard butter is the devil.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
ROFL!!ā¦.. LOL jk iām still in my chair.
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
I hate it when I get too drunk and just kidding I never hate getting drunk!
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
I never fail to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors when I pick up the other person and throw them out the window.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles