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"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
I plucked my first gray hair today ... Man, that lady was upset.
If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
I`m only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.
You had me at 0 mutual friends