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Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Procrastination comes to those who wait.
That annoying feeling when you finally downloaded the movie you wanted to watch and BOOM!... It`s in French. #F**kYouFrance
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
The police never think its as funny as you do.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.