Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
May your life one day be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
I see dead people. Well technically they`re stupid people, but give me a few minutes
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?