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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
Unless your kid’s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.