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I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
No one appreciates the special genius of your conversation like the dog does
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild