Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Just printed out 50 copies of today’s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I’m just not in the mood for small talk.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.