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*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
When exactly are they going to make Xanax fit my Pez Dispenser?
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
Scream โ€œChrome is better than Firefoxโ€ around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
โ€œTrue beauty is withinโ€ for example opening your fridge.
My bank called because they noticed โ€˜highly suspicious activityโ€™ on my charge account. It was for a gym membership.
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
Hey sorry Iโ€™m late, I didnโ€™t want to come.
If the customer is always right, then why isnโ€™t anything for free?
My number was 0...