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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
This day is only a margarita away from being a good one.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
I`m angrier than a waitress forced to sing happy birthday
I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation… My Czech is in the mail!
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough