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They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
Balloons are so weird... "happy birthday, here`s a plastic sack of my breath"
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.