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They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?