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Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.