Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
Coffee: fueling you for a job you can`t stand to support a life you never wanted. Tastes good though...
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
I did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down, but had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Now I need a beer.
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.