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My RSVP : I`ll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.