Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
If I were Noah, I’d be grabbing two of every bottle of alcohol
It`s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.