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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
The worst time to need to sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee it when you’re driving and need to sneeze.
If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
When people said they sleep like a baby, it`s because they do not have one.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
How can I love nature when it did this to my hair?
Here`s a list of the things I have to look forward to today: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Drinking after work
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
As long as I remind myself "The b!tch had it coming" is not a valid court defense, I`ll be ok
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!