Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn`t cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eegs
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?