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"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
I`m just a guy standing in front of a huge pile of laundry wondering how flammable it is.
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
As long as I remind myself "The b!tch had it coming" is not a valid court defense, I`ll be ok
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.