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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really fast
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.