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The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling
Efficiency: skip your morning, wake up in the afternoon.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
I had your cake and ate it too.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?