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I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".