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It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
A good lawyer knows the law ... A great lawyer knows the judge.
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn`t work here.
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.