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To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
You can always tell the guys that masturbate a lot by looking at their hands. If you look close enough you can see their wedding ring.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.
Hello, fire department? Is this Mr. February? Yeah, I`m stuck in a tree. Uh, I mean... meooow.