Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
Saw my ex with another guy at a bar last night. So I ordered a beer, took a few sips, walked over to their table, gave her date the rest of my drink and walked away... #leftovers
It feels like one of them days..... ya know? When you wanna fart and blame the other person for it!
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.
A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."