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A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
Guns don`t kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
Don`t run with scissors -- unless you`re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
If you think your girlfriend has a great sense if humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes.