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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
3 wishes for when I find a genie: 1. The more I eat the skinnier I get 2. One kid grows up to be a pharmacist 3. Other kid owns a winery
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress so that I’ll have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
It`s not too late to start convincing our children that the world really did end in 2012 and we`re the survivors.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...