Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
The hardest part about being an adult is trying to hide how you`re still a child.
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
If it makes you feel better, don’t call it “Premature Ejaculation.” Call it “Speed Dating”
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.