Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming.
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
I don`t get personal trainers. I`ve never been exercising and thought "man, I wish someone hot was criticizing me right now."
I wonder what my dog has named me?
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.