Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just burned 1200 calories ... I forgot the pizza in the oven again.
Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor`s yard to cut it down is an art.
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
If you give me a phone number or directions while I`m on the phone with you, just know that I`m using my very best finger pen and air paper.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
Women`s magazines are so funny. 1: You`re beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you`re bound to get burned
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!