Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Warning: this life contains strong language, adult situations and nudity.
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, you`re wrong. I`m wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
Got tasered at speed dating again.
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.