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Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
Calm down! I`m not officially late until I actually get there.
I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
I’m having a free beer contest tonight. The 1st person to bring me a case of beer gets to watch me drink it. FOR FREE!
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.