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The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Iām an only child, and Iām still not the favorite.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
If you can read this please let me know ā because it means I blocked the wrong person.
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.