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I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
Friend: Hey that`s a great truck. what kinda engine? Me: [rubbing the hood] it`s got a truck engine
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
The thing about smart mother f*ckers is... They sound like crazy mother f*ckers to dumb mother f*ckers!
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....