Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
Being ‘clean and sober’ means I’ve showered and I’m headed to the liquor store.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
I`m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. - Guys.
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.