Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
Be good ... or I will text Santa
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
Q: What is the best thing God ever created? A: The vagina. Q: What was the worst thing God ever did? A: Put women in charge of them.
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.