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That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.
I pretend I’m taking an important call and use big words when old people walk by so they’ll think the future is in good hands.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
When it comes to speaking Spanish I know the essentials. "Taco, nacho, burrito, cheeto, frito & no comprendo."
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....