Daily Silly Status

I put the pro in inappropriate.

Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.

There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.

I`ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.

I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.

I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."

You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.

I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.

Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!

If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.

I`ve decided that from now on I`m going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. It`s kind of fun... "Dean, what are you doing this weekend?" "That`s a great question -- and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back, and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend, I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should." "But what are you doing?" "What I`m g

I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?

I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.