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My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up