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Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
Saying, "We need to talk," is the most efficient way to freak someone out
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 8 times,......Your probably a woman.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..