Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
If you watch the Twilight movies backwards, Kristen Stewart still can`t act.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor`s trash so you don`t get robbed.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
I told my girlfriend I`m Harry Potter`s Godfather... She laughed hard and said "you can`t be Sirius"
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
If the liquor store didn`t want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?