Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
I always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations are replace it with "Drinking for two"
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.