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Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
I taught my wife everything she knows about male stupidity.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.