Daily Silly Status

Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.

Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.

Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?

If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.

I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off

Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.

I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.

I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.

I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

Never hire an Electrician with no eyebrows

I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now