Daily Silly Status

Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?

I think I`m a grown up the same way Dr. Phil is a doctor.

This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.

I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.

I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.

The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.

The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I`m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don`t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn`t sign up for the position.

My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.

Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-

There should be an observation deck at Walmart.

I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.

Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.

If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?

Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.

Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"