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A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I`m not an actor.
The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.